Sunday, March 09, 2008

Man Hunter

I placed myself geographically in a place where God could make the dream a reality. I walked into the city centre and found a church.

I guess that it is part of human nature to make comparisons. You line up the familiar alongside the unfamiliar rather like lining two DNA profiles to see if they match!

Obviously the people were not going to be familiar, although I was recognised from the International Friends as having been on the trip to Cawdor Castle last year. I sat next to a really nice lady who pointed out various people.

The worship consisted of a string of cheerful songs. I coveted their flute player! The songs were not familiar but they were easy to pick up and played and sang with lots of enthusiasm.

There were one or two times when, had I been in my own church, I wouldn’t have hesitated to share something, but I wasn’t sure what was allowed and what wasn’t. I was waiting to see what other people would do and take my cue from them. It was all very structured, well behaved and polite. My friend, Mark, is always encouraging us to be messy and I have to admit that I missed that!

I am not quite sure what I was expecting. It would have been very amazing to have seen the man from my dream, and even more amazing to have prayed for him, but it didn’t happen.

Perhaps I was too passive in the whole thing. I might have been there in the body, in the church, and to some extent I might have been there in the spirit too – but I didn’t really push any doors to see if they would open. I took the spiritual temperature of the meeting – perhaps with my dodgy spiritual thermometer – and decided to not press it.

There have been times in the past when I have stepped out and done something unexpected and the whole meeting has shifted as a result – for the good, I hasten to add. I just didn’t do it today. I am not sure whether to kick myself for my lack of courage or congratulate myself for my restraint!

I really don’t so strangers that well! With people I know I am perhaps a bit of an exhibitionist and quite the extrovert – but in unfamiliar surroundings I lie low! Maybe this whole “find the man and pray with him” is not about finding the man at all, but finding myself in every situation and expressing “me” freely.

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