So Long

My reirement poem - rather long with echoes of Pam Ayers. It went down well at both readings - my afternoon tea on Wednesday afternoon and the more formal recognition of my retirement ealrier this mornng.

So long, farewell, I’m leaving now

It’s time for me to go

The cracks that come from wear and tear

Will soon begin to show

I fell into this RE life

(Or was I “burning bushed”?)

I think I blame my mother who

Stood behind and pushed

My first job was in London

An East End city school

To show cooperation

It really wasn’t cool

The classroom was a prefab

Beside an outside loo

They danced upon my doorstep

Those toilet needing few

Those were the days of bandas

With their distinctive smell

And purple words on paper

That served us all quite well

The job, not made to measure

It rubbed me raw to tears

To match my years of training

I promised then, four years

OK I never left the job

And decades down the line

I built my teacher muscle up

And think I got on fine

I taught abroad for just a while

Beneath a Cyprus sun

The mornings full of lessons

And then the beach for fun

My class was full of strapping lads

Moustached and six foot three

Saudi army conscripts

They didn’t want to be

I ate kebabs, drank Ouzo

A little Greek I learned

With sun and sand and factor eight

A golden brown I turned

I tell you, endless sunshine soon

Begins to lose appeal

Sweaty skin and chaffing thighs

Hot days were not ideal

I dreamed of clouds and rainfall

I packed and said goodbye

I moved back home with parents

And taught at Newbold High

My body clock was ticking but

There was no man in view

Teaching failed to scratch the itch

I needed something new

I joined a gospel outreach team

With saving souls my aim

My Bible packed and heading north

To Inverness I came

I preached, I prayed, I knocked on doors

I spoke to young and old

I walked the talk, the gospel shared

God’s message brave and bold

Too soon my time was over and

I had to find a job

I waitressed at the Calley then

I joined the Millburn mob

Yet again, a prefab, parked

Beside a grassy field

Heaters hot and smoking and

Windows poorly sealed

I battled wasps and rabbits

Graffiti everywhere

And yelled at Gary Stuart

“Stop swinging on your chair!”

The roof was flat, accessible

A big cross daubed one day

With words “Al-Qaeda bomb right here!”

What more was there to say?

A passing plane had spotted

The words all black and bold

They phoned the press on landing

A million papers sold

The day my hut was torn down

I didn’t shed a tear

I’d watched the swing of cranes each day

Saw something new appear

A clean and sparkling new school

All bristling with tech

Computers smart and polished

And of the highest spec

I mass produced my powerpoints

Embedded Youtube clips

I sang and danced through lessons

Took endless virtual trips

But - This body starts to crumble

The hearing’s first to go

My aids are made of plastic

Well hidden, they don’t show

So many indicators show

My best-before’s expired

No longer fresh, I’m overripe

It’s time that I retired

I’m bothered by the chewing gum

That lurks just out of sight

That hangs beneath the tables

And flies around at night!

I cannot learn this alphabet

Of DIPs, the SIPs, the SALs

HGIOYS and Es and Os?

I can’t say we are pals

These chromebooks are a mystery

With google apps and docs

My “classroom” doors won’t open

Despite my many knocks

And see those William Wallaces

Lined up against the wall?

I hear their stirring Braveheart speech

And long for freedom’s call

It’s time to leave the building

Before I’m dragged away

It’s time to let a younger lass

Have her own RE way

I’ll miss the scratch of pencils

Across a workbook page

The sound of neurons firing

As boys and girls engage

I’ll miss those awkward questions

Creation or Big Bang?

Why do good men suffer and

Why don’t bad men hang?

I’ll miss you, David Allan

The best  department head

Through all the myriad changes

Boldly you have lead

I’ll miss you, sweet Fiona

Your optimistic cheer

My job was so much brighter

Just knowing you were near

So many friends I’ve made here

So blessed to work with you

Pop in for tea or coffee

If you are passing through

I’m off into the sunset

With bus pass held in hand

To have more great adventures

And journeys I have planned