Dreaming Big Dreams

If I thought my dolphins and sharks dream was revelational – to me at least – last night’s dream was a real blast! I am still reeling from it!

It had the unique distinction of being a morning dream! I had woken up at seven, thought about getting up, decided not to and fell back to sleep.

The dream took place in an unfamiliar church and there wasn’t anyone I knew. I was a visitor.

Let me back track a little. As well as the talk about dreams at the mid-week meeting I had been contemplating the story of Paul’s conversion. God had firmly told Ananias to go to Paul and lay is hands on him and “release” him into the ministry that God had prepared for him. Ananias had no concerns about whether he had heard God correctly, or felt worthy enough to do the task – the kind of things that hold us back. His concern was with whether Paul was perhaps worthy of the gift about to be bestowed. Well, he did it. He went, found Paul, laid his hands on him and released him into what God had for him to do. It’s all very well God giving people dreams – Paul had a dream that he believed was God given – annihilating the early church. It took Ananias to be the instrument whereby God directed and channelled the gifts Paul had been given.

So back to the dream. Thinking about Ananias and laying hands on people to release them into what God want for them – there was a man in my dream. He had dark brown hair. I could probably identify him from a police line up. I felt a stirring to lay my hand on his shoulder and pray for him, but because I was a visitor, I didn’t have the confidence to do so.

It was the end of the meeting and he was about to leave the building and something stirred in me and I shouted to him to stop because God wanted to do something. He turned around. I was mortified to discover I had got the wrong person. I had made a mistake and stopped the wrong person.

He came over to me. I could see that he was much smaller than the person I was supposed to talk to and much younger. He stood in front of me expectantly. I was hunting around for words to tell him that he wasn’t the man and he must have misinterpreted my silence.

“I know what this about,” he said. Well, he certainly knew more than I did at that point. We walked over to the stage and sat down. He confided in me that he had been struggling lately. He was the picture of the successful Christian but deep down he saw it all as a smokescreen. He was “working hard” at being a Christian, but he knew that he didn’t really have a faith. He knew that he had never asked God to be lord of his life and he was scared to do so because he thought he would fail.

I can’t remember what I said. I know that what ever it was, God used it to speak to the man. I rested my hand on his shoulder and assured him that it was not his problem but God’s. God would make Himself responsible for the man’s faith and growth.

There were tears streaming down his face and he didn’t pray any words out loud, but he opened his heart to Jesus. He face was flooded with joy and he crumpled to the ground. I don’t know whether this church was used to seeing people slain in the Spirit, but a number of people came to look at what was happening.

I was beside him, still with my hand on his shoulder. I was about to launch into some great releasing prophecy over him when he touched my hand and said, “No more words. All that needs to be said has been spoken.”

He got up and we both went for a cup of tea. Pathetic ending I know, but that’s how it ended!

I woke up and the first words to come to my mind were “Which church, God? Which church will I meet this man?”

See, one of the things about moving in the gifts of the Spirit is that you have got to move! There is no point about having a stirring dream if all it does is stir and there is no action. It is not by accident that our own church has shifted its meetings to an evening for a while, leaving me free to roam around a few other churches – to visit. Yeah, the plan had actually been to enjoy a morning lie in, but that may be not God’s plan.

I looked through the adverts for churches in the local paper later on in the morning. I was looking for something to kind of leap of the page. Nothing! I am not even sure that the man of dreams will be there, but obedience has got to start somewhere, right? If he is there will I step out and have a go? It is all a bit out of my comfort zone and part of me is scanning the landscape for a bolt hole!

I did it!

I did it! I said I would do it and I did! When I got home from school I wrote out a query letter, something you send to a publisher inviting them to publish your work! I say letter – it was an e-mail. I attached a selection of poems and sent it off. So the worm is in the water and I am waiting to see if the fish will bite!

Part of the conversation I had with my friend at the Bible study related to a meeting a number of years ago. I can’t remember where we were, but there was a prophetic element to the meeting. Words of knowledge were being tossed out to various people. It was very casual. There were a number of leaders present.

The word of knowledge for my friend was something along the lines that it was time that she wrote the book. Now, if the leader had said that to me, it would have been the perfect word. I had discovered that I had a talent for writing. The church was in need of a newsletter and I wrote one. For four years, every three months, I would harass people for articles and play around with fonts and columns and things. I was an explosion of words just waiting to happen. All I needed was someone to put a lighted match – or in this case – a prophetic word – and I would have been away. My friend just looked blankly at the man. Was there a book inside her, just itching to get written? She wasn’t sure!

I waited for the word of knowledge that was coming my way, and it was about stepping out and being confident in the prophetic realm.

Because he didn’t say anything about a book to me, but he said something to my friend, and as he was one the “big boys”, it was as if he had pricked a balloon and burst my dream of writing a book. My line of thinking was “Well, if he didn’t say it to me that must mean that I am not supposed to be a writer.” My confidence really took a dive. I did not stop writing, I just didn’t dream big any longer. I allowed what he didn’t say to colour my thinking about things. I am not quite sure exactly what i did with what he did say!

That was a long time ago and I have written a lot of things since and shared a lot of things too. Maybe what I just needed was time and it is only now, after all the FW challenges that I have confidence to believe that I am marketable!