Our church, during a mid week meeting, has been working through an intercession study course aimed at making prayer more effective and powerful. On Wednesday we were learning how to listen to God. Patricia King in her teaching had been encouraging us that God talks to us – that He wants to talk to us and that we all have the ability to hear from Him.
After a short time of worship we settled down to listen. I usually go into panic mode simply because what comes straight into my mind is “What if God talks to everyone else in the room, but He doesn’t talk to me!” I can usually think of a million things that would disqualify me from taking part!
Well, thoughts were going through my head, mostly about what God and I had been talking about from my quiet times – whether they were God directed, I will leave that up to you to decide.
Last weekend I popped into the City Forum. It is a message board specifically for Christian ladies, sparked off by a Faithwriter’s lady. I used to keep up to date with the Bible Study there last year. They are reading through the early chapters of Numbers. The Levites were assigned to help the priests with the running of the tabernacle. When it came down to moving the campsite along the route to the Promised Land, they were assigned things to carry. They didn’t just line up outside the tabernacle, but there was a list of their names, and each person, by name, was given a specific item to take. Each person was hand picked and their specific strengths and weaknesses taken into consideration. Who knows best, but God, what we can carry and what we can’t? There is a verse that says that God does not give us the things that we cannot bear that comes to mind. What God gives us to carry is not so heavy that we are broken by it.
OK – so that was what I “heard” from God. We didn’t have time to explore the specifics so we were encouraged to take it back to God and ask for the details! This is kind of mind-blowing! This is where God really “touches skin”.
What came across when I talked it over with God was firstly the word “Protection”. A lot of the instructions God gives at the start of Numbers are down to God’s desire to protect his people. Living in the midst of them is dangerous for them – He is holy, and they are not. They are dealing with sensitive dynamite and things have to be correctly handled. God assigning certain items to specific people is a matter of protection. It is fair to say that some of us have an unrealistic view of our abilities. We are not as strong as we think we are. The temptation for us is to take on board more than we can handle and we get burnt out. For some of us, it may be the opposite – we are actually much stronger than we think, but we rule ourselves out and we never really get to exercise our spiritual muscles properly. By God assigning specific tasks He gets the best out of us.
So the anointing that God gives for a task is not haphazard and random, but carefully orchestrated. The things that I do must be the things that God has set me apart to do and not the stuff I think I am capable of doing. They are the things that no one else has been assigned to do and they are matched to my strengths and weaknesses.
This is when God got really personal! Suppose as a Levite you turn up at the tabernacle. Every time you have moved camp you have been given things to carry. Sometimes it’s the same item you are carrying. Sometimes it’s something a little different – but you always have something to do. Suppose that one time you turn up and the priest turns you away – there is nothing for you to carry! Suppose the next time you turn up, you get turned away – again there is nothing for you to carry. And perhaps a third time, and a fourth time. What questions go through your mind? What do you think about? Do you automatically think – “Oh wonderful, I get to help my wife pack and move our stuff.” Or “I was really needing a rest!” or more likely perhaps, “What is wrong with me? Why am I being passed over here? Have I done something to offend the priests, or God?” The man has got used to doing stuff, but suddenly, he feels like he is being made redundant!
See this protection thing – it is not just a physical thing of not being given too heavy a burden to carry. I think it is also a spiritual thing. We have a tendency to measure value according to what a person does. We perhaps measure our value on the basis of what we contribute or the part we play in the church setting. If we do nothing, we think we have no value. If we had a job, and then it gets taken off us and given to someone else, we jump to a conclusion perhaps that the other person must be better than we are. Maybe this is just me and everyone else is a lot less complex! The world moves on whether I carry something or not – I am not the centre of the universe. God can work without me and he chooses to do so at times. Learning just to “be” and not to “do” is so important.
Are you still with me? Let’s forget about the “suppose”! The phrase I am playing with now is “touching skin” – when something touches you up close and it is not just theory or head knowledge. Just recently our church meetings have moved into the town centre. I don’t know how many weeks we have been there. I am aware that since moving into the town centre I have not been invited to lead worship. There is a small trickle of thoughts along the line of “What is wrong with me? Why am I being passed over here? Have I done something to offend someone?” It is a very small trickle that I don’t give space to because I know that there is nothing wrong, that I am not being passed over and that had I offended anyone, I would have been told. But it is a challenge! I feel like the Levite who turns up expecting to carry something and gets sent home empty handed. I am used to doing something and not just being something.
The challenge for me is to enjoy the rest and the space I am being given. There is space particularly to explore what else God has got in mind for me – that I am not limited to leading worship or preaching in a Sunday meeting setting – but something Melanie-sized and shaped in the wider setting of church in the community. It is kind of exciting – it is scary too!
Friday, June 30, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
World Cup misery
This year I have watched more than my usual dose of football. In the staff room sweepstake I picked out Croatia for the World Cup. They have not managed to move into the next round. I watched all their matches quite faithfully and also picked up one or two of the players’ names. One night they were playing, I went as far as finding a recipe for a Croatian beef stew to cook that evening. I think I did my stuff!
However, they failed to do their stuff. They played brilliantly against Brazil, but scored no goals and lost 1-0. They played against Japan, but with few sparks igniting and drew that match. They lost to Australia. I have to confess that I stopped watching the game quite early on. They were committing some fairly outrageous fouls. It went beyond hanging onto jumpers and tripping up the opposition – it was appalling. As I told my fourth years boys the following day – I can’t abide bad behaviour whether it is in the classroom or on the football field. They replied, “It’s a man’s game!” and “It’s a contact sport!” but even so…I still don’t think that excuses a lack of sportsmanship.
I am feeling quite convicted though of my abandonment of Croatia! I was reading this morning in Psalm 106 of Israel’s list of appalling behaviour towards God. Theirs was not the holding on to jumpers and tripping folks up kind of bad behaviour. The Israelites involved themselves in all a huge catalogue of extreme wickedness including sacrificing their children to idols! They were really bad – but in verse 44 God does not abandon them. It says that He had pity. He heard their cries. He remembered the covenant He made. He remembered the unfailing love he had for them.
I am convicted that I often tie in support and encouragement for people with behaviour. I am like the governments of so many countries – I will give aid as long as the man on the receiving end maintains a good human rights record! It is natural inclination I suppose.
But God is not like that! Unfailing love is exactly what it says! God’s love is not conditional upon good behaviour. He does not love me because I am good. He does not love me more if I am very good, as opposed to just good! He doesn’t cease to love me when I am bad. Disappointed perhaps, but He never withdraws his love.
At the end of the day, I supported Croatia because I drew their name out of a hat. I didn’t look at all the other teams and deliberately choose Croatia. I didn’t come to love them!
God chose me and that makes all the difference!
However, they failed to do their stuff. They played brilliantly against Brazil, but scored no goals and lost 1-0. They played against Japan, but with few sparks igniting and drew that match. They lost to Australia. I have to confess that I stopped watching the game quite early on. They were committing some fairly outrageous fouls. It went beyond hanging onto jumpers and tripping up the opposition – it was appalling. As I told my fourth years boys the following day – I can’t abide bad behaviour whether it is in the classroom or on the football field. They replied, “It’s a man’s game!” and “It’s a contact sport!” but even so…I still don’t think that excuses a lack of sportsmanship.
I am feeling quite convicted though of my abandonment of Croatia! I was reading this morning in Psalm 106 of Israel’s list of appalling behaviour towards God. Theirs was not the holding on to jumpers and tripping folks up kind of bad behaviour. The Israelites involved themselves in all a huge catalogue of extreme wickedness including sacrificing their children to idols! They were really bad – but in verse 44 God does not abandon them. It says that He had pity. He heard their cries. He remembered the covenant He made. He remembered the unfailing love he had for them.
I am convicted that I often tie in support and encouragement for people with behaviour. I am like the governments of so many countries – I will give aid as long as the man on the receiving end maintains a good human rights record! It is natural inclination I suppose.
But God is not like that! Unfailing love is exactly what it says! God’s love is not conditional upon good behaviour. He does not love me because I am good. He does not love me more if I am very good, as opposed to just good! He doesn’t cease to love me when I am bad. Disappointed perhaps, but He never withdraws his love.
At the end of the day, I supported Croatia because I drew their name out of a hat. I didn’t look at all the other teams and deliberately choose Croatia. I didn’t come to love them!
God chose me and that makes all the difference!
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Promise keeping
I was reading Leviticus 27 today. It was all about making vows - making voluntary vows, and then regretting making the vow and wanting to get whatever you had given back. There was a fixed penalty of an added 20% on top of the value of the goods if a person chose to renege on a vow - that they had to pay more than the good were worth. If they tried to do a swap with a lesser item - they lost both things. If they regretted giving their number one bull and wanted to do a swap for their number two bull, they lost both bulls! And then there were just some things they just couldn't get back at all!
We all make promises - to pray more regularly, to read so many chapters of the Bible each day, to witness more often. When we make the vows we are being sincere. We have no intention of going back on what we promise to do. But then "real life" kicks in. We have only so much time and so many things to do and the prayers and the Bible reading get edged out and we just can't seem to get up enough confidence to speak to someone about our faith. Then we end up feeling guilty - so we make another promise!
There are a couple of parables that come to mind about counting the cost - the man that builds a tower and runs out of money before he can finish, and the king that goes to war and then decided he doesn't really have a great army and thinks about surrendering.
The parable of the tower really sticks in my mind. I lived in Cyprus for a number of years, teaching in a church school in Limassol. Living there was like living on a huge building site There were always buildings going up. It was common to build another level on top of your home to accommodate your son or daughter when they were married - so nothing ever really looked finished.
In particular there was a half finished hotel called the King Richard Hotel. The man began building it. There were the bare bones of a couple of dozen or so floors. Then he ran out of money and the unfinished building became a city landmark - but not a hotel! The year I left, some corporation bought the building and completed it - the bottom floor was given over to Woolworth's - the biggest store in the city at the time!
God knows what we are like about promises. In Leviticus 27 He made provision for the promise breakers - but he doesn't make it easy provision. It comes at a cost. I know what I am like about promises too! I always have second and third and fourth doubts about jumping in with something because I know that perhaps in a few weeks I will loose the enthusiasm and it will become a chore or a duty. Maybe that is not very "faith" inspired - maybe I just need to stop listening to the voices!! But there is this sense of knowing your history! Reading Leviticus 27, does that mean I should never make the promises in the first place? There is sense where I am called to live in the present tense - not worrying now whether in the future I will go back on my promise, because my past history tells me I will. God gives me all the resources I need, so I shouldn't have to go back on my promises!
Interestingly enough, on a preaching CD, Patricia King spoke about "seasons" of things. At the time she was in a season of prayer and felt quite able to pray eight hours in the day! She recognised that it was a "season" and not a life long commitment. Maybe that is the way ahead - stress that it is for a season!
God is a promise keeper! We are to imitate God and be promise keepers too. If we are reflecting the character of God and do not keep our promises or vows, it is like saying to people around us that perhaps the God we follow doesn't keep his promises either!
We all make promises - to pray more regularly, to read so many chapters of the Bible each day, to witness more often. When we make the vows we are being sincere. We have no intention of going back on what we promise to do. But then "real life" kicks in. We have only so much time and so many things to do and the prayers and the Bible reading get edged out and we just can't seem to get up enough confidence to speak to someone about our faith. Then we end up feeling guilty - so we make another promise!
There are a couple of parables that come to mind about counting the cost - the man that builds a tower and runs out of money before he can finish, and the king that goes to war and then decided he doesn't really have a great army and thinks about surrendering.
The parable of the tower really sticks in my mind. I lived in Cyprus for a number of years, teaching in a church school in Limassol. Living there was like living on a huge building site There were always buildings going up. It was common to build another level on top of your home to accommodate your son or daughter when they were married - so nothing ever really looked finished.
In particular there was a half finished hotel called the King Richard Hotel. The man began building it. There were the bare bones of a couple of dozen or so floors. Then he ran out of money and the unfinished building became a city landmark - but not a hotel! The year I left, some corporation bought the building and completed it - the bottom floor was given over to Woolworth's - the biggest store in the city at the time!
God knows what we are like about promises. In Leviticus 27 He made provision for the promise breakers - but he doesn't make it easy provision. It comes at a cost. I know what I am like about promises too! I always have second and third and fourth doubts about jumping in with something because I know that perhaps in a few weeks I will loose the enthusiasm and it will become a chore or a duty. Maybe that is not very "faith" inspired - maybe I just need to stop listening to the voices!! But there is this sense of knowing your history! Reading Leviticus 27, does that mean I should never make the promises in the first place? There is sense where I am called to live in the present tense - not worrying now whether in the future I will go back on my promise, because my past history tells me I will. God gives me all the resources I need, so I shouldn't have to go back on my promises!
Interestingly enough, on a preaching CD, Patricia King spoke about "seasons" of things. At the time she was in a season of prayer and felt quite able to pray eight hours in the day! She recognised that it was a "season" and not a life long commitment. Maybe that is the way ahead - stress that it is for a season!
God is a promise keeper! We are to imitate God and be promise keepers too. If we are reflecting the character of God and do not keep our promises or vows, it is like saying to people around us that perhaps the God we follow doesn't keep his promises either!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Wine into water?
I was listening to Radio 2 in the car this morning. The news reports had finished and Terry Wogan was commenting on the last item. Apparently Europe is producing more wine than people want to drink. Just like there are butter mountains and cheese mountains, there are also wine lakes! There is a surplus of produce. It seems that most Europeans are drinking less wine, and those that aren't - like the British, Irish and Swedes - are turning to Australia, or South Africa or South America for their wines. The government wants to pay wine makers to dig up some Europe's vineyards.
Terry commented that if only they could pipe the wine over to this country, fill the empty reservoirs, all that would be needed would be someone to turn the wine into water and we would all be happy!
My immediate thought was that many people would not get the reference. Terry’s comment was turning a biblical story on its head. Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding.
I can’t remember when I first realised that cultural references that I take for granted are not known anymore. I remember teaching a unit of work on Jesus parables. This was way back in the 1980s. I quite confidently asked the pupils to make a list of the parables Jesus taught. Two thirds of the pupils were from Indian families, and were Hindus or Sikhs, but surprisingly enough they were the ones that could do it! The rest of the class looked at me with blank faces. Parables? Jesus they knew about, but parables were a mystery.. After a lot of crowd manipulation, rephrasing and leading questions we managed to come up with the Good Samaritan! Someone may have suggested the Sower, and I think the Prodigal Son was levered out from deepest darkest memories!
I don’t think the word for this is “sad”. I think it is more serious than sadness! I was reading at the end of 2 Kings where Josiah’s priests, are given the instructions to collect money to repair the temple. When they start the renovations, they find hidden in a wall the Book of the Law – a record of God’s covenant. Josiah is appalled when he reads the book – appalled not just that they hadn’t been doing it, but they hadn’t even been aware that they were supposed to be doing it!
How do these things slip through our fingers? A friend and I were talking last week about the need to remember important things that God had said to us. For the Jews they did it tying boxes onto their foreheads or nailing little boxes onto their door-posts. The boxes contained a verse of scripture spoken by God.
What do we do to remember? The alternative to remembering is forgetting. What do we do to make sure that we don’t forget? I think part of it is simply talking about it. Isn’t that what witnessing is all about. There is a verse somewhere In Philomen (she says hesitantly) about sharing the gospel is good for us because it makes us more sure of exactly what it is that we believe. It strengthens our faith.
Joe and I are avid watchers of “Lost”. There have been one or two episodes where genuine Christian faith has formed a part of the story line with people praying and talking about their spirituality – not New Age mysticism, but the realities of believing in God when the world and reason say otherwise.
Terry commented that if only they could pipe the wine over to this country, fill the empty reservoirs, all that would be needed would be someone to turn the wine into water and we would all be happy!
My immediate thought was that many people would not get the reference. Terry’s comment was turning a biblical story on its head. Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding.
I can’t remember when I first realised that cultural references that I take for granted are not known anymore. I remember teaching a unit of work on Jesus parables. This was way back in the 1980s. I quite confidently asked the pupils to make a list of the parables Jesus taught. Two thirds of the pupils were from Indian families, and were Hindus or Sikhs, but surprisingly enough they were the ones that could do it! The rest of the class looked at me with blank faces. Parables? Jesus they knew about, but parables were a mystery.. After a lot of crowd manipulation, rephrasing and leading questions we managed to come up with the Good Samaritan! Someone may have suggested the Sower, and I think the Prodigal Son was levered out from deepest darkest memories!
I don’t think the word for this is “sad”. I think it is more serious than sadness! I was reading at the end of 2 Kings where Josiah’s priests, are given the instructions to collect money to repair the temple. When they start the renovations, they find hidden in a wall the Book of the Law – a record of God’s covenant. Josiah is appalled when he reads the book – appalled not just that they hadn’t been doing it, but they hadn’t even been aware that they were supposed to be doing it!
How do these things slip through our fingers? A friend and I were talking last week about the need to remember important things that God had said to us. For the Jews they did it tying boxes onto their foreheads or nailing little boxes onto their door-posts. The boxes contained a verse of scripture spoken by God.
What do we do to remember? The alternative to remembering is forgetting. What do we do to make sure that we don’t forget? I think part of it is simply talking about it. Isn’t that what witnessing is all about. There is a verse somewhere In Philomen (she says hesitantly) about sharing the gospel is good for us because it makes us more sure of exactly what it is that we believe. It strengthens our faith.
Joe and I are avid watchers of “Lost”. There have been one or two episodes where genuine Christian faith has formed a part of the story line with people praying and talking about their spirituality – not New Age mysticism, but the realities of believing in God when the world and reason say otherwise.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Deep fried caramel wafers
An interesting newspaper article cropped up last week. I have never tried it myself but some Scottish fish and chip shops sell battered deep fried Mars bars. The sound of it doesn't appeal to me at all.
Since Mars bars got renamed "Believe" for the World Cup, and are supposed to encourage us to believe that England will win, sales have plummeted in Scotland! The English don't really understand why the Scots don't get behind them seeing as Scotland are not in it.
Since deep fried Mars bars, or Believe bars, are all but impossible to sell, some chippies have been looking at other things to deep fry instead. Tunnocks Caramel Wafers fit the bill and are not quite so sweet.
It may seem rather petty. It is just a name. Take off the wrapper and it is just a Mars bar. The ingredients haven't changed at all. The colour scheme of the wrapper hasn't changed either - it is just that one word "Believe" and everything that is associated with it.
Personally I don't believe England will win - I don't want them to win because in the school sweepstake I picked out Croatia! I don't think eating a Mars bar or not eating one is going to a make a difference. I also don't think that believing that they will win means that they will win.
I am not sure whether there is any honour in refusing to buy a Mars bar, deep fried or not because of England's World Cup campaign, but is a matter compromising deeply held beliefs for many people. Not compromising is important, but the issue has to be a important one and I am not sure that it is - not for me anyway.
Since Mars bars got renamed "Believe" for the World Cup, and are supposed to encourage us to believe that England will win, sales have plummeted in Scotland! The English don't really understand why the Scots don't get behind them seeing as Scotland are not in it.
Since deep fried Mars bars, or Believe bars, are all but impossible to sell, some chippies have been looking at other things to deep fry instead. Tunnocks Caramel Wafers fit the bill and are not quite so sweet.
It may seem rather petty. It is just a name. Take off the wrapper and it is just a Mars bar. The ingredients haven't changed at all. The colour scheme of the wrapper hasn't changed either - it is just that one word "Believe" and everything that is associated with it.
Personally I don't believe England will win - I don't want them to win because in the school sweepstake I picked out Croatia! I don't think eating a Mars bar or not eating one is going to a make a difference. I also don't think that believing that they will win means that they will win.
I am not sure whether there is any honour in refusing to buy a Mars bar, deep fried or not because of England's World Cup campaign, but is a matter compromising deeply held beliefs for many people. Not compromising is important, but the issue has to be a important one and I am not sure that it is - not for me anyway.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
The transformation process
When you are a part of a small church, there are only so many planned meetings that are possible throughout the week, but we have always been encouraged to use our own initiative for the "unplanned" meetings. If there is something on our hearts that we wish to pursue, then we will get all the support we need to do it, but it is up to us to do it!
A few weeks ago I spoke, quite passionately apparently, about the need to be transformed. The whole process of the Christian life should be to make me more like Jesus. Through every encounter that I have with God - through worship, through His word, through prayer - every encounter - I should be changing. I shouldn't be struggling year in and year out with the same problems. The rest of the church should be involved in my transformation. It says somewhere in scripture about iron sharpening iron. If I am not being transformed then something is wrong somewhere. I had been reading about one of the kings in the Old Testament. He had made an attempt to repair the temple, the external visible part of worship, but without there being an invisible change on the inside - he did nothing about the shrines on the hills and under the trees - it was not effective. As a church we have been so pleased about the move into the town centre. It has given us a fresh vision - but that is just the externals. Moving the church from one place to another physically needs to accompany a move spiritually to a deeper relationship with God. I am not saying that is not happening because it is!
Afterwards one of my friends came up to me and asked if we might study the Bible together. I brought the study books and we met on Thursday for the first time.
I am sure that you have those times when you never realised you had lost something until you found it again! I didn't realise just how much I needed to come to the Bible with other people and simply talk about what I had learned. I read the Bible daily and I study to apply what I learn - this Thursday was just another planet altogether! There is one thing talking through what you learn with God during a quiet time and another thing talking it over with people.
The study book was about women in the Old Testament. "Women" orientated books are normally avoided by me, not because I am not a woman, but sometimes they focus on things that to some extent are irrelevant to me. I don't consider myself a home builder - that is probably why my home looks like a pigsty! I don't have children to bring up. I chose the study because my friend, who is a young woman, needs that kind of teaching. She is on the cusp of all these things!
I seriously didn't know just how much I needed this study. I have a tendency towards self sufficiency. I don't always expect people to help, I don't ask often enough, I just get on with the business, and I don't always realise just how much I am struggling. Being self sufficient is not what Jesus intends - that is not "body" thinking.
I learned so much on Thursday - about the life of Eve, who I thought I knew anyway but didn't really! The ways that other people look at things really threw a light on areas that I had never thought about! This was not just head stuff - but life stuff! I leaned so much about the lives of my friends. Quite often the questions in the study were just jumping off points to share heart. I know what to pray about for these women because of what they shared - not more guessing! I learned a lot about myself too.
It could have been a very cerebral meeting. We are intelligent women. It was not a meeting of heads and brains dissecting the word - but three friends wanting to get to know God better. I have much to put into practice!
A few weeks ago I spoke, quite passionately apparently, about the need to be transformed. The whole process of the Christian life should be to make me more like Jesus. Through every encounter that I have with God - through worship, through His word, through prayer - every encounter - I should be changing. I shouldn't be struggling year in and year out with the same problems. The rest of the church should be involved in my transformation. It says somewhere in scripture about iron sharpening iron. If I am not being transformed then something is wrong somewhere. I had been reading about one of the kings in the Old Testament. He had made an attempt to repair the temple, the external visible part of worship, but without there being an invisible change on the inside - he did nothing about the shrines on the hills and under the trees - it was not effective. As a church we have been so pleased about the move into the town centre. It has given us a fresh vision - but that is just the externals. Moving the church from one place to another physically needs to accompany a move spiritually to a deeper relationship with God. I am not saying that is not happening because it is!
Afterwards one of my friends came up to me and asked if we might study the Bible together. I brought the study books and we met on Thursday for the first time.
I am sure that you have those times when you never realised you had lost something until you found it again! I didn't realise just how much I needed to come to the Bible with other people and simply talk about what I had learned. I read the Bible daily and I study to apply what I learn - this Thursday was just another planet altogether! There is one thing talking through what you learn with God during a quiet time and another thing talking it over with people.
The study book was about women in the Old Testament. "Women" orientated books are normally avoided by me, not because I am not a woman, but sometimes they focus on things that to some extent are irrelevant to me. I don't consider myself a home builder - that is probably why my home looks like a pigsty! I don't have children to bring up. I chose the study because my friend, who is a young woman, needs that kind of teaching. She is on the cusp of all these things!
I seriously didn't know just how much I needed this study. I have a tendency towards self sufficiency. I don't always expect people to help, I don't ask often enough, I just get on with the business, and I don't always realise just how much I am struggling. Being self sufficient is not what Jesus intends - that is not "body" thinking.
I learned so much on Thursday - about the life of Eve, who I thought I knew anyway but didn't really! The ways that other people look at things really threw a light on areas that I had never thought about! This was not just head stuff - but life stuff! I leaned so much about the lives of my friends. Quite often the questions in the study were just jumping off points to share heart. I know what to pray about for these women because of what they shared - not more guessing! I learned a lot about myself too.
It could have been a very cerebral meeting. We are intelligent women. It was not a meeting of heads and brains dissecting the word - but three friends wanting to get to know God better. I have much to put into practice!
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Anything to declare? Plenty!
I made it to Blue Flame last night. The last time I went - just about a year ago (ouch!) I was very disappointed because I had set it up in my mind to be this great dynamic prayer meeting and it wasn't. Yesterday I went with no agenda - just a desire to be where God was. Now I know that God is everywhere - even with me as I sit in front of my computer doing my first year reports - BUT I just wanted to hang out, relaxed and chilling with God.
If you were to judge the success or failure of something based on the numbers of people who attend - then it was a failure. There were few people there, but it did not bother me because I had the sense that God had just the very people in the room that he was looking for. We are talking about very few people. I was getting a bit fidgety because it started late! I can do late starts if there is a cup of tea to be guzzle.
The leader had selected songs that regular visitors would know. There were too few of us for any of us to be passengers or observers, so lying on a table were a dozen or so songbooks - pretty much outdated. Matt Redman didn't get a look in! There was a violin player - awesome! The presence of God was just tangible - hairs on the back of your neck stuff. I spent a considerable amount of time on my knees - no tears, no break downs, just aware that I was with God. I loved the old songs, I loved singing them, I loved the violin music that stirred me and I loved just being there.
I really appreciated being unknown to everyone in the sense that no one had any expectations of what I would do. They didn't know if I could hold a note, if I could sing in the spirit - they knew nothing about me, and that was a release just to do what I liked or not do anything at all.
After a couple of hours of worship songs, we decided to call it a night - pray for one another if anyone wanted prayer. This was about ten o'clock. I got the impression that this was the usual time it ended - although when the meetings had first began six in the morning was more normal! God had no intentions of knocking off that early.
We began praying for each other - and then other people kept arriving! It was like we had just finished praying for one person, and then another couple would arrive. After they had been prayed for someone else would walk through the door. And then another person…and another. The more people there were, the longer it took to pray for people as everyone wanted their "shot".
What came to mind was what I had learned about prayer through being with the big boys a few weeks ago. I was faced with a roomful of people that I knew nothing about. From what they asked to be prayed for, and from other people's prayers for them I could glean a few things, but on the whole I was waiting for the Spirit. You know what? I didn't pray! I declared things. I had an awesome sense of God's anointing. The Holy Spirit would give me a single word, or phrase to get me going. It was awesome - I could just feel something breaking in the heavenlies each time. There were lots of words spoken over different people - but when I put my hand on their shoulder and did this declaring thing - something else was going on.
I just wanted to be with God - without any plans of my own…and I was. We knocked off at midnight and I floated home!
If you were to judge the success or failure of something based on the numbers of people who attend - then it was a failure. There were few people there, but it did not bother me because I had the sense that God had just the very people in the room that he was looking for. We are talking about very few people. I was getting a bit fidgety because it started late! I can do late starts if there is a cup of tea to be guzzle.
The leader had selected songs that regular visitors would know. There were too few of us for any of us to be passengers or observers, so lying on a table were a dozen or so songbooks - pretty much outdated. Matt Redman didn't get a look in! There was a violin player - awesome! The presence of God was just tangible - hairs on the back of your neck stuff. I spent a considerable amount of time on my knees - no tears, no break downs, just aware that I was with God. I loved the old songs, I loved singing them, I loved the violin music that stirred me and I loved just being there.
I really appreciated being unknown to everyone in the sense that no one had any expectations of what I would do. They didn't know if I could hold a note, if I could sing in the spirit - they knew nothing about me, and that was a release just to do what I liked or not do anything at all.
After a couple of hours of worship songs, we decided to call it a night - pray for one another if anyone wanted prayer. This was about ten o'clock. I got the impression that this was the usual time it ended - although when the meetings had first began six in the morning was more normal! God had no intentions of knocking off that early.
We began praying for each other - and then other people kept arriving! It was like we had just finished praying for one person, and then another couple would arrive. After they had been prayed for someone else would walk through the door. And then another person…and another. The more people there were, the longer it took to pray for people as everyone wanted their "shot".
What came to mind was what I had learned about prayer through being with the big boys a few weeks ago. I was faced with a roomful of people that I knew nothing about. From what they asked to be prayed for, and from other people's prayers for them I could glean a few things, but on the whole I was waiting for the Spirit. You know what? I didn't pray! I declared things. I had an awesome sense of God's anointing. The Holy Spirit would give me a single word, or phrase to get me going. It was awesome - I could just feel something breaking in the heavenlies each time. There were lots of words spoken over different people - but when I put my hand on their shoulder and did this declaring thing - something else was going on.
I just wanted to be with God - without any plans of my own…and I was. We knocked off at midnight and I floated home!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Standing up for the little people
I have to confess that I am not really a political animal. Like many people I feel that decisions are made regardless of what I think – politicians just go ahead and do it anyway. I am married to a wonderful man that does not think like that. He is the chairperson of the northern branch of his union.
There is a scene in the movie “The Railway Children” where there has been a landslide and the only way to stop the train is to stand on the lines and wave a something to catch the attention of the train driver and force him to stop. This so eloquently describes what my husband does.
Right now discussions are taking place to decide whether the Crofter’s Commission employees are to remain civil servants or to loose their civil service status. It may not be the biggest train coming down the track, but it effects the staff of the Crofter’s Commission. The label “civil servant” doesn’t make them a better worker, but it guarantees an established set of working conditions. There is no guarantee that any of those working conditions will be honoured once the Crofters Commission looses its civil service status. Promises were made to protect the worker’s right that ministers and management seem to be able to conveniently lay aside.
Sometimes the decisions of management and bosses are not made to benefit the workers. Many people just let it happen, mostly because they don’t know what to do, or how to do it. My husband does know what to do, and the times that he is not sure what to do, he makes it is job to find out. Any business is only as good as the people who work there. If the workers do not feel valued, they don’t produce the best that they are capable of doing.
Unions provide a service to workers to ensure that their rights are protected and their needs in the working environment are met. Being a teacher I am a member of a union. A large part of becoming a member was down to being married to a union man. Before I joined the union I hoped that I would never encounter a serious enough problem to need their assistance – and of course, it all costs money and you wonder if it is worth it.
There seems to be a minefield in Christian circles about whether people should join unions or not. They think they are “worldly” organisations, not set up by “The Church” and full of “trouble-makers stirring things up”. It is sad that an area where the church should be the frontrunner – protecting vulnerable people – is left to the world to make a difference. God is interested in the WHOLE person – not just the praying, singing, reading the Bible person. We spend a third of our lives in our work environment – and God is interested in that third.
We live in a society that has forgotten how to look after one another. I just wanted to say that I am proud to be married to someone that hasn’t!
There is a scene in the movie “The Railway Children” where there has been a landslide and the only way to stop the train is to stand on the lines and wave a something to catch the attention of the train driver and force him to stop. This so eloquently describes what my husband does.
Right now discussions are taking place to decide whether the Crofter’s Commission employees are to remain civil servants or to loose their civil service status. It may not be the biggest train coming down the track, but it effects the staff of the Crofter’s Commission. The label “civil servant” doesn’t make them a better worker, but it guarantees an established set of working conditions. There is no guarantee that any of those working conditions will be honoured once the Crofters Commission looses its civil service status. Promises were made to protect the worker’s right that ministers and management seem to be able to conveniently lay aside.
Sometimes the decisions of management and bosses are not made to benefit the workers. Many people just let it happen, mostly because they don’t know what to do, or how to do it. My husband does know what to do, and the times that he is not sure what to do, he makes it is job to find out. Any business is only as good as the people who work there. If the workers do not feel valued, they don’t produce the best that they are capable of doing.
Unions provide a service to workers to ensure that their rights are protected and their needs in the working environment are met. Being a teacher I am a member of a union. A large part of becoming a member was down to being married to a union man. Before I joined the union I hoped that I would never encounter a serious enough problem to need their assistance – and of course, it all costs money and you wonder if it is worth it.
There seems to be a minefield in Christian circles about whether people should join unions or not. They think they are “worldly” organisations, not set up by “The Church” and full of “trouble-makers stirring things up”. It is sad that an area where the church should be the frontrunner – protecting vulnerable people – is left to the world to make a difference. God is interested in the WHOLE person – not just the praying, singing, reading the Bible person. We spend a third of our lives in our work environment – and God is interested in that third.
We live in a society that has forgotten how to look after one another. I just wanted to say that I am proud to be married to someone that hasn’t!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Irresistible to God
The FW weekly challenge last week was "Hope". My husband Joe preached a sermon on hope many, many years ago. At the time we were not married, and I am not sure if we were even courting at the time. He hadn't been a Christian for long, but he has a kind of inbuilt maturity about him and had been asked to bring the word. At the time he was lodging with another lad, Dave, in the church, who was also the manager of a large hotel in Inverness. After Joe had spoken, Dave went up to him to apologise for not paying enough attention to what he'd said. Joe had a strong Glaswegian accent and sometimes speaks quite quickly, so he just thought that he had not toned down the accent enough. However that was not the problem. Dave had been sitting next to really tall fellow named Rab. Just as Joe was getting started - he made a point of telling a joke to put everyone at ease - Rab had turned to Dave and said, "See, that's some tie the wee fella's wearing!"
I had quite quickly latched on to the story of Anna, the prophetess, in Luke's gospel. There may be just three verses but I have been really encouraged as I have meditated on them. It took a while to find a way in - my computer is littered with opening paragraphs that I abandoned along the way, and half a dozen verses of a poem that just wasn't lighting my fire. In the end I wrote about a statue in an art gallery. It wasn't a real statue, or a real art gallery, but by the end of the piece I could see it in my mind's eye. There are times when I lament that I can't do the artist thing.
Thinking about Anna - my neurons have just been firing and I will seriously have to sit down and put a proper piece together. One of the things that has stirred in me is the need to put myself in the place to hear from God. Scripture says that she practically lived in the Temple, worshipping day and night. The temple is where the presence of God was most clearly felt - it was the place that He had chosen to dwell. Physically she was in the right place. Through her worship, prayer and fasting, she had put herself in the right spiritual place - the right frame of mind to experience His presence.
Putting yourself in the right place to experience God - what a challenge! Day and night Anna was in the right place - it was inevitable that God would speak to her. What often impresses me is that some people make themselves irresistible to God by their manner and approach. God cannot but help be drawn to people who place themselves physically and spiritually in His path. I want to be like that. I want to be irresistible to God too - just like she was. I want to make the place where God is found to be my dwelling place.
I had quite quickly latched on to the story of Anna, the prophetess, in Luke's gospel. There may be just three verses but I have been really encouraged as I have meditated on them. It took a while to find a way in - my computer is littered with opening paragraphs that I abandoned along the way, and half a dozen verses of a poem that just wasn't lighting my fire. In the end I wrote about a statue in an art gallery. It wasn't a real statue, or a real art gallery, but by the end of the piece I could see it in my mind's eye. There are times when I lament that I can't do the artist thing.
Thinking about Anna - my neurons have just been firing and I will seriously have to sit down and put a proper piece together. One of the things that has stirred in me is the need to put myself in the place to hear from God. Scripture says that she practically lived in the Temple, worshipping day and night. The temple is where the presence of God was most clearly felt - it was the place that He had chosen to dwell. Physically she was in the right place. Through her worship, prayer and fasting, she had put herself in the right spiritual place - the right frame of mind to experience His presence.
Putting yourself in the right place to experience God - what a challenge! Day and night Anna was in the right place - it was inevitable that God would speak to her. What often impresses me is that some people make themselves irresistible to God by their manner and approach. God cannot but help be drawn to people who place themselves physically and spiritually in His path. I want to be like that. I want to be irresistible to God too - just like she was. I want to make the place where God is found to be my dwelling place.
Monday, May 01, 2006
The simplest solutions
I have been incredibly out of sorts for the last few days. I have had a fairly heavy cold but over and above that I have had a nagging headache! I rarely get headaches. I am one of those people that when I am unwell, absolutely nothing feels right - my hair does not feel comfortable on my head, my skin feels uncomfortable stretched over my bones and nothing feels like it should. I couldn't work it out but somehow my glasses felt wrong. The frame bits that you never notice seemed to be all that I could see and I kept having to tip the glasses down to the end of my nose to read anything!
I am really a bad case scenario person. I never think the most obvious things. My first thought was that it was a caffeine thing and somehow I wasn't drinking as much tea or coffee as I used to, so I overdosed on coffee and tea to make up for it. There was no improvement in the headaches. My second thought was that perhaps I needed to update the prescription on the lenses. This was not a good thing as they were not cheap! The third thing - absurd really, but remember I have a cold so I'm not thinking clearly - perhaps the shape of my head had changed and the glasses just no longer fitted!
Well this morning I had a proper squint at the glasses and discovered the problem - one of the small bits that balance the glasses on the nose that fallen off. The tiny screw had unscrewed itself and the little plastic thing had fallen off! The glasses were not sitting properly. No wonder my eyes were having a problem focussing on things. There is a proper term somewhere for a situation when you are given a number of possible solutions to a problem and it is the simplest one that is usually the most effective.
The lady at the shop fixed it for me and the headache is subsiding. Maybe I should have asked her if she could fix my cold too.
I am really a bad case scenario person. I never think the most obvious things. My first thought was that it was a caffeine thing and somehow I wasn't drinking as much tea or coffee as I used to, so I overdosed on coffee and tea to make up for it. There was no improvement in the headaches. My second thought was that perhaps I needed to update the prescription on the lenses. This was not a good thing as they were not cheap! The third thing - absurd really, but remember I have a cold so I'm not thinking clearly - perhaps the shape of my head had changed and the glasses just no longer fitted!
Well this morning I had a proper squint at the glasses and discovered the problem - one of the small bits that balance the glasses on the nose that fallen off. The tiny screw had unscrewed itself and the little plastic thing had fallen off! The glasses were not sitting properly. No wonder my eyes were having a problem focussing on things. There is a proper term somewhere for a situation when you are given a number of possible solutions to a problem and it is the simplest one that is usually the most effective.
The lady at the shop fixed it for me and the headache is subsiding. Maybe I should have asked her if she could fix my cold too.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Reclaiming Eden
"I've done what I set out to do
His image in them marred.
They leave this paradise of His
With lives forever scarred"
The glorious snake with glinting scales
Slid sinuously on the ground
A crafty reptile, sleek and sly
He moved without a sound
"I've soiled His love for human kind
I've wrecked His precious plan
Can Eden ever be reclaimed?
Oh No! It never can!"
Then fluttered down a peaceful bird
A pure and gentle dove
"You foolish snake, you cannot see
You're wrong about His love"
"Before this world came into being
He saw this tragic day
And in His mind conceived a plan
To wash this sin away"
"The woman's seed will crush your head.
A promise, firm and true
He will reclaim the lives you stained
Despite all you can do."
"His love bars them from Eden's tree
This tree - the Tree of Life
To eat this fruit their lives would be
Unending, full of strife."
"Some day they will return with joy
And take their rightful place
And gaze on Him with wondrous love
And know His awesome grace"
His image in them marred.
They leave this paradise of His
With lives forever scarred"
The glorious snake with glinting scales
Slid sinuously on the ground
A crafty reptile, sleek and sly
He moved without a sound
"I've soiled His love for human kind
I've wrecked His precious plan
Can Eden ever be reclaimed?
Oh No! It never can!"
Then fluttered down a peaceful bird
A pure and gentle dove
"You foolish snake, you cannot see
You're wrong about His love"
"Before this world came into being
He saw this tragic day
And in His mind conceived a plan
To wash this sin away"
"The woman's seed will crush your head.
A promise, firm and true
He will reclaim the lives you stained
Despite all you can do."
"His love bars them from Eden's tree
This tree - the Tree of Life
To eat this fruit their lives would be
Unending, full of strife."
"Some day they will return with joy
And take their rightful place
And gaze on Him with wondrous love
And know His awesome grace"
Monday, April 24, 2006
Mel, why are your hands so soft?
Those of us that are old enough can remember the old Fairy Liquid adverts that include the question, "Mummy, why are your hands so soft?" In this day of political correctness, they don't show them anymore just in case gender roles are stereotyped and Daddy doesn't help with the housework!
My hands are soft right now. For my birthday, Joe bought me a tub of hand cream from Lush. The product is called "Smitten" and contains almond oil. It is a very rich cream. The tub sits on the coffee table in the front room and I suppose that because it is not tucked away on a bathroom shelf it is getting used. I sit down after I have done the washing up, or finished doing something on the cleaning front, and the tub is right there. Sitting down to watch TV, the tub is right there, accessible. Using the stuff often during the day, has gradually built up a softness in my hands that wasn't there before.
This morning as I was rubbing in the usual blob of cream, the Holy Spirit brought to mind something that had been mentioned in church months ago. Shields in Roman times were made of leather and were protected by oil being rubbed into them. Without the oil, the leather dried out and cracks appeared. The protection the shield offered was no longer reliable.
As I was rubbing my hands together, I just imagined the Holy Spirit massaging my inner self. I imagined the Spirit rubbing in His joy, His peace, His kindness - those essential fruits of the Spirit into the very heart of me. I wanted it not to be just a surface wipe over, but a deep kneading - to get below the surface.
My hands are soft because I often dip into my tub of hand cream. A single application does not last forever! I don't think a once only application of the ministrations of the Holy Spirit will do that much lasting good either. His work needs to be repeated over and over again. I have got into a habit of rubbing the cream into my hands - how much more would the Holy Spirit like to get into a habit of rubbing in his oil of joy to prevent my heart drying out and cracks appearing?
Currently I am wading through writing third year reports, with first year reports waiting in the wings. It is a busy time of the school year. I want to make sure that I don't neglect time spent with God. Now is not the time for cracking up!
My hands are soft right now. For my birthday, Joe bought me a tub of hand cream from Lush. The product is called "Smitten" and contains almond oil. It is a very rich cream. The tub sits on the coffee table in the front room and I suppose that because it is not tucked away on a bathroom shelf it is getting used. I sit down after I have done the washing up, or finished doing something on the cleaning front, and the tub is right there. Sitting down to watch TV, the tub is right there, accessible. Using the stuff often during the day, has gradually built up a softness in my hands that wasn't there before.
This morning as I was rubbing in the usual blob of cream, the Holy Spirit brought to mind something that had been mentioned in church months ago. Shields in Roman times were made of leather and were protected by oil being rubbed into them. Without the oil, the leather dried out and cracks appeared. The protection the shield offered was no longer reliable.
As I was rubbing my hands together, I just imagined the Holy Spirit massaging my inner self. I imagined the Spirit rubbing in His joy, His peace, His kindness - those essential fruits of the Spirit into the very heart of me. I wanted it not to be just a surface wipe over, but a deep kneading - to get below the surface.
My hands are soft because I often dip into my tub of hand cream. A single application does not last forever! I don't think a once only application of the ministrations of the Holy Spirit will do that much lasting good either. His work needs to be repeated over and over again. I have got into a habit of rubbing the cream into my hands - how much more would the Holy Spirit like to get into a habit of rubbing in his oil of joy to prevent my heart drying out and cracks appearing?
Currently I am wading through writing third year reports, with first year reports waiting in the wings. It is a busy time of the school year. I want to make sure that I don't neglect time spent with God. Now is not the time for cracking up!
Saturday, April 22, 2006
With rings on her fingers...
The ring on my little finger is made from Venetian glass. It is not tiny or delicate or conservative, like the kind of jewellry that I would usually opt for, but loud and big and very purple. It began the day on the little finger of my right hand but got in the way of writing, so I moved it to the little finger of my left hand, next to the tiny, delicate and conservative engagement and wedding rings. I don't think it has become comfortable on my hand but I am determined to wear it!
You see, Joe bought it me on his recent trip away to Orkney and Shetland. He likes buying me interesting things that are not run-of-the-mill. I was thinking when he gave it to me, with an enthusiastic flourish of a little orange bag that it came in, and an eager expression on his face, that very often the things he buys me stay safely tucked away in the boxes and the bags in a drawer somewhere and very occasionally see the light of day.
If you are a giver of gifts, when you give someone something and then never see them wear it, or use it, it has got to be quite soul destroying. So I determined to wear the ring. It is purple so that does put a limit on when I can wear it. It is a lovely ring and a wonderfully rich colour. Joe bought it me so I wear it!
I can remember once going through a difficult spell I was just keeping my head above water and seriously feeling like I was coming close to drowning once or twice. During a quiet time with God I had the impression that God was saying that I was making life much more difficult than it needed to be. Imagine if someone had all the resources that you needed to make your way through the day and it was all there just laid on the table for you to freely take and use. At the end of the day - all that stuff is still there, untouched, unused and ignored. You sit there moaning about how difficult life is and yet you never touch the stuff that would not just sustain you through the day, but give you the upper hand. That is what I felt that God was trying to tell me - the He had given me all the resources I needed and yet I was trying to manufacture something in my own strength to help me through the day. The bottom line is that by turning my back on his resources I was insulting God.
Maybe that is why I hi-jacked the prayer meeting the other night - there was too much stuff laid on the table that was in danger of being ignored! God is gracious in giving us all that we need for life and godliness - but are we humble, or desperate, or hungry enough to take hold of it and use it?
You see, Joe bought it me on his recent trip away to Orkney and Shetland. He likes buying me interesting things that are not run-of-the-mill. I was thinking when he gave it to me, with an enthusiastic flourish of a little orange bag that it came in, and an eager expression on his face, that very often the things he buys me stay safely tucked away in the boxes and the bags in a drawer somewhere and very occasionally see the light of day.
If you are a giver of gifts, when you give someone something and then never see them wear it, or use it, it has got to be quite soul destroying. So I determined to wear the ring. It is purple so that does put a limit on when I can wear it. It is a lovely ring and a wonderfully rich colour. Joe bought it me so I wear it!
I can remember once going through a difficult spell I was just keeping my head above water and seriously feeling like I was coming close to drowning once or twice. During a quiet time with God I had the impression that God was saying that I was making life much more difficult than it needed to be. Imagine if someone had all the resources that you needed to make your way through the day and it was all there just laid on the table for you to freely take and use. At the end of the day - all that stuff is still there, untouched, unused and ignored. You sit there moaning about how difficult life is and yet you never touch the stuff that would not just sustain you through the day, but give you the upper hand. That is what I felt that God was trying to tell me - the He had given me all the resources I needed and yet I was trying to manufacture something in my own strength to help me through the day. The bottom line is that by turning my back on his resources I was insulting God.
Maybe that is why I hi-jacked the prayer meeting the other night - there was too much stuff laid on the table that was in danger of being ignored! God is gracious in giving us all that we need for life and godliness - but are we humble, or desperate, or hungry enough to take hold of it and use it?
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
His answer
I stand alone imprisoned here
My thoughts a downward spin
My fears in solitude grow large
And turmoil swirls within
A question asked, an answer sought
I wait as death steals near
I must know I fulfilled my task
My doubts must disappear
He is the chosen man of God
I saw the white dove's flight
And as the man shed water's cloak
On him it did alight
I heard the voice, a thunderous roar
That rent the heavens apart
"This is my son, the one I love"
So God reveals His heart
But was I wrong? Is He the man?
This humble gentle soul?
Can He restore this shattered world?
Make what was broken whole?
His words are wise, and full of power
He speaks and strongholds fall
Men cast aside their fishing nets
To hearken to His call
"The demons run, and blind men see
The crippled stand and walk
The deaf hear praise from lepers cleansed
And silent tongues? They talk"
His answer comes, and peace bursts forth
My task, His herald, done
My mission ends, my task complete
While His has just begun.
My thoughts a downward spin
My fears in solitude grow large
And turmoil swirls within
A question asked, an answer sought
I wait as death steals near
I must know I fulfilled my task
My doubts must disappear
He is the chosen man of God
I saw the white dove's flight
And as the man shed water's cloak
On him it did alight
I heard the voice, a thunderous roar
That rent the heavens apart
"This is my son, the one I love"
So God reveals His heart
But was I wrong? Is He the man?
This humble gentle soul?
Can He restore this shattered world?
Make what was broken whole?
His words are wise, and full of power
He speaks and strongholds fall
Men cast aside their fishing nets
To hearken to His call
"The demons run, and blind men see
The crippled stand and walk
The deaf hear praise from lepers cleansed
And silent tongues? They talk"
His answer comes, and peace bursts forth
My task, His herald, done
My mission ends, my task complete
While His has just begun.
Questions and answers
I have just been writing my entry for the FW weekly challenge. I have gone up a level in the competition - up to Level 4 called "Masters". It sounds entirely like a golf or snooker tournament to me.
The topic was "Fulfilment" and I had a number of ideas creeping around my head before I settled on something completely different.
The article was based on John the Baptist's question sent via his disciples to Jesus - "Are you the one who was to come, or should we wait for someone else?" It put me in mind of other great questions in the Bible - and why the answer matters. In no particular order:-
God's question to Adam - "Where are you?" To think that we can hide from God, or to think that there is ever a time when God doesn't know exactly where we are is to make a big mistake! I am sure that Adam didn't really know at all where he was - in the time it took to bite an apple the scenery and landscape changed. Everything familiar faded as fear swept in.
God's question to Cain - "Where is your brother Abel?" It is bad enough working out where we are in life - but God also expects us to know where other people are too! We don't get asked the whereabouts of strangers - but family is a different matter. God expects me to know where they are. He has made me accountable for aspects of their life and their walk with Jesus.
Jesus' question to a blind man - "What do you want me to do for you?" Sometimes you think it is kind of obvious what people want - but people are complicated. Jesus takes his cue from the blind man, knowing perfectly well how much he can transform the man's life in so many ways. Maybe the question would be better phrased - "What will you allow me to do for you?" Hmm...
Jesus' question to Simon Peter - "Do you love me?" Somewhere Jesus talks about a man who says that he did miracles in Jesus name, and that he cast out demons in Jesus name. Jesus went on to call that man a stranger who he did not know. It is not what we do that counts - or what we can't do that counts against us. It is why we do what we do - what motivates us should be our love for Jesus.
Jesus' question to God - "Why have you forsaken me?" Jesus spent his whole knowing the presence of God. There had not been one single moment up until then when Jesus did not experience God's intimacy. Jesus must have experienced something similar to Adam in that the relationship with God that he known all his life was no longer there. We know what it is like not to live our lives in God's presence, and sometimes we allow that intimacy to slip away. Because of Jesus, I can be sure of God's promise that he will never leave me, or abandon me.
King Xerxes to Queen Esther - "What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you." I have been reading the book of Esther over the last week or so. My imagination was captured by the idea of Esther clothed in royal robes, standing in at the entrance to the King's palace. As he extends the sceptre to her, he invites her into his presence. I am reminded that I too am clothed in royal robes, and that I have access into the throne room of my King, to make known the things on my heart.
The topic was "Fulfilment" and I had a number of ideas creeping around my head before I settled on something completely different.
The article was based on John the Baptist's question sent via his disciples to Jesus - "Are you the one who was to come, or should we wait for someone else?" It put me in mind of other great questions in the Bible - and why the answer matters. In no particular order:-
God's question to Adam - "Where are you?" To think that we can hide from God, or to think that there is ever a time when God doesn't know exactly where we are is to make a big mistake! I am sure that Adam didn't really know at all where he was - in the time it took to bite an apple the scenery and landscape changed. Everything familiar faded as fear swept in.
God's question to Cain - "Where is your brother Abel?" It is bad enough working out where we are in life - but God also expects us to know where other people are too! We don't get asked the whereabouts of strangers - but family is a different matter. God expects me to know where they are. He has made me accountable for aspects of their life and their walk with Jesus.
Jesus' question to a blind man - "What do you want me to do for you?" Sometimes you think it is kind of obvious what people want - but people are complicated. Jesus takes his cue from the blind man, knowing perfectly well how much he can transform the man's life in so many ways. Maybe the question would be better phrased - "What will you allow me to do for you?" Hmm...
Jesus' question to Simon Peter - "Do you love me?" Somewhere Jesus talks about a man who says that he did miracles in Jesus name, and that he cast out demons in Jesus name. Jesus went on to call that man a stranger who he did not know. It is not what we do that counts - or what we can't do that counts against us. It is why we do what we do - what motivates us should be our love for Jesus.
Jesus' question to God - "Why have you forsaken me?" Jesus spent his whole knowing the presence of God. There had not been one single moment up until then when Jesus did not experience God's intimacy. Jesus must have experienced something similar to Adam in that the relationship with God that he known all his life was no longer there. We know what it is like not to live our lives in God's presence, and sometimes we allow that intimacy to slip away. Because of Jesus, I can be sure of God's promise that he will never leave me, or abandon me.
King Xerxes to Queen Esther - "What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you." I have been reading the book of Esther over the last week or so. My imagination was captured by the idea of Esther clothed in royal robes, standing in at the entrance to the King's palace. As he extends the sceptre to her, he invites her into his presence. I am reminded that I too am clothed in royal robes, and that I have access into the throne room of my King, to make known the things on my heart.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Love engraved in my life
I was out exploring the other end of the Caledonian Canal, where it leaks out into Loch Ness. The outdoors just called to me yesterday, so I collected a bag full of breadcrumbs and headed off to Dochgarich where there are a couple of locks on the canal and a path to amble along.
The canal runs parallel to the river for quite a while. On my left was the canal, very tranquil and quiet, with the occasional boat motoring up or down it. On my right, a mere few yards away was the river - very noisy, and lively, with swirls and eddies. I was amazed to discover that the canal was flowing in the opposite direction to the river - I checked it out with Pooh-sticks! Which one would I prefer to be out in a canoe on? The canal would probably be the safest, except when motor boats came along. The river, infinitely more challenging I would imagine, and more interesting. Actually, I think I would prefer not to be out in a canoe at all!
There were lots of interesting trees along the side of the canal. I don't know varieties of trees, but some had multiple trunks that wound round each other, very think and very twisted and probably very old. Most of them had been marked in some way, not by the passage of nature, but by the penknife of man! There were weathered dates and initials but one trunk bore the words - "JESUS LOVES YOU, CHRIST DIED FOR SINNERS"
Is vandalism always vandalism no matter what has been written? I remembered a time when I was a young Christian reading the graffiti written on the back of a toilet door. Some of it was witty, but most comprised of who loved who and who "waz ere" and when. I thought about adding my own contribution along the lines of "Jesus loves you", but then vandalism is vandalism, damage to someone else's property is still damage not matter what your intentions are. I put my pen away.
The words on the tree reminded me of something I knew to be true. Being reminded is a good thing. For someone who did not know Jesus - would the words have meant anything? I think people learn about the love of God through the love his people show. Christ would want to engrave each of my words and each of my actions with a message of his love. In each encounter I have with people they need to be able to read the love of God written into my life.
The canal runs parallel to the river for quite a while. On my left was the canal, very tranquil and quiet, with the occasional boat motoring up or down it. On my right, a mere few yards away was the river - very noisy, and lively, with swirls and eddies. I was amazed to discover that the canal was flowing in the opposite direction to the river - I checked it out with Pooh-sticks! Which one would I prefer to be out in a canoe on? The canal would probably be the safest, except when motor boats came along. The river, infinitely more challenging I would imagine, and more interesting. Actually, I think I would prefer not to be out in a canoe at all!
There were lots of interesting trees along the side of the canal. I don't know varieties of trees, but some had multiple trunks that wound round each other, very think and very twisted and probably very old. Most of them had been marked in some way, not by the passage of nature, but by the penknife of man! There were weathered dates and initials but one trunk bore the words - "JESUS LOVES YOU, CHRIST DIED FOR SINNERS"
Is vandalism always vandalism no matter what has been written? I remembered a time when I was a young Christian reading the graffiti written on the back of a toilet door. Some of it was witty, but most comprised of who loved who and who "waz ere" and when. I thought about adding my own contribution along the lines of "Jesus loves you", but then vandalism is vandalism, damage to someone else's property is still damage not matter what your intentions are. I put my pen away.
The words on the tree reminded me of something I knew to be true. Being reminded is a good thing. For someone who did not know Jesus - would the words have meant anything? I think people learn about the love of God through the love his people show. Christ would want to engrave each of my words and each of my actions with a message of his love. In each encounter I have with people they need to be able to read the love of God written into my life.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
A last walk with Spike
On Friday we had the sad news that Spikey Boy had passed away. It was very sad. He was not a young dog anyway, but recently he had developed a heart condition that lead to him being put down. I know that he was in a dog's home in Ilfracombe and we just sponsored him, but yesterday I decided to imagine that I was taking him for a last walk along the Caledonian Canal - I was there for real, but Spike was there in my imagination!
It was a lovely morning, and last Sunday one of the things spoken about in my breaking free was about the need to get out and enjoy nature. I don't want people to speak into my life and not put it into practice, but it has rained throughout the week. Yesterday was a bright and dry morning. Because of the wet days beforehand, it was quite muddy, with lots of puddles for Spike to trail through.
There were no other dogs, and very few people. One couple we met were armed with binoculars trained on a huddle of seagulls squatting on an empty pontoon in the marina. Seagulls are just seagulls to me, and I don't differentiate between the varieties - guillemots and such. The other couple were canal workers. It must have been low tide as they were able to wade ankle deep at the edge of the canal picking up rubbish and putting it in black bags. They were chatting as they paddled along.
We saw two swans. The one piece of information that always surfaces about swans comes from watching a film with Drew Barrymore in it. Swans mate for life. They remain faithful to one another throughout their life span. These were very elegant swans. They always remind me of sailing boats with full white sails. Your ducks and things are like the motor boats chugging along, but swans - they sail.
One of the saddest things we saw, on the bank of the canal where the workers had not yet reached, on a stone step leading down to the water, was a single empty syringe. I guess that Inverness has its fair share of drug takers, but it seemed sad to me that the quiet and the beauty of the place was not enough to restore someone's inner peace. The Beauly Firth was stretching our in front, with shifting ripples of water, all against a backdrop of hill and snow capped mountains. If nature was enough to restore peace in people's lives, there would be no need for the cross of Jesus.
It was such a quiet spot. On the road to Beauly, on one side of the firth you could see and hear cars and lorries trundling along. On the other side, the far distant bank of North Kessock, you could catch glimpses of light reflecting off windscreens of cars along the road, but right where Spike and I stood, at the entrance to the canal, everything was still. It just brought back to me that in the hurry and scurry of life, we need a quiet and tranquil place - a quiet place. For me that time is about being with God and allowing him to put back together what the world would tear apart.
A place of peace
Where struggles cease
Where striving ends
And rest descends
To float, to sail
To breathe, inhale
Your Presence sweet
I'm made complete
It was a lovely morning, and last Sunday one of the things spoken about in my breaking free was about the need to get out and enjoy nature. I don't want people to speak into my life and not put it into practice, but it has rained throughout the week. Yesterday was a bright and dry morning. Because of the wet days beforehand, it was quite muddy, with lots of puddles for Spike to trail through.
There were no other dogs, and very few people. One couple we met were armed with binoculars trained on a huddle of seagulls squatting on an empty pontoon in the marina. Seagulls are just seagulls to me, and I don't differentiate between the varieties - guillemots and such. The other couple were canal workers. It must have been low tide as they were able to wade ankle deep at the edge of the canal picking up rubbish and putting it in black bags. They were chatting as they paddled along.
We saw two swans. The one piece of information that always surfaces about swans comes from watching a film with Drew Barrymore in it. Swans mate for life. They remain faithful to one another throughout their life span. These were very elegant swans. They always remind me of sailing boats with full white sails. Your ducks and things are like the motor boats chugging along, but swans - they sail.
One of the saddest things we saw, on the bank of the canal where the workers had not yet reached, on a stone step leading down to the water, was a single empty syringe. I guess that Inverness has its fair share of drug takers, but it seemed sad to me that the quiet and the beauty of the place was not enough to restore someone's inner peace. The Beauly Firth was stretching our in front, with shifting ripples of water, all against a backdrop of hill and snow capped mountains. If nature was enough to restore peace in people's lives, there would be no need for the cross of Jesus.
It was such a quiet spot. On the road to Beauly, on one side of the firth you could see and hear cars and lorries trundling along. On the other side, the far distant bank of North Kessock, you could catch glimpses of light reflecting off windscreens of cars along the road, but right where Spike and I stood, at the entrance to the canal, everything was still. It just brought back to me that in the hurry and scurry of life, we need a quiet and tranquil place - a quiet place. For me that time is about being with God and allowing him to put back together what the world would tear apart.
A place of peace
Where struggles cease
Where striving ends
And rest descends
To float, to sail
To breathe, inhale
Your Presence sweet
I'm made complete
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
"Follow me - again"
I came across something that I think is pretty mind blowing yesterday. On Saturday, Joe and I took Shona, Patrick and Shannon to see some friends of ours. Archie and Sandra manage a croft, or small farm, just outside Dingwall, some fifteen to twenty miles from Inverness. They keep sheep, and the last few weeks have been filled with helping the ewes give birth to lambs. There are one or two orphan lambs and one or two ewes that have difficulty feeding their offspring, so the family are helping the smaller lambs by feeding them with bottles of milk. We thought that Shannon and Patrick would enjoy feeding lambs.
The phrase "Feed my lambs" really struck a chord with me, and I took out my bible to read the account of Jesus' resurrection appearance to his disciples when they had gone fishing, caught nothing and followed his instructions to let the nets down on the other side of the boat. Later on in the passage Jesus and Peter have a conversation about love, and Jesus prophesies about Peter's death. Right at the end of all of that are the words, "Then he said to him (Peter), "Follow me!"" (John 21:19)
This was not the first time that Jesus had challenged Peter to follow him. Three years ago, in pretty much the same place, "As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him." (Mark 1:16-18)
Peter had no idea what he was letting himself in for. He had no idea what the next three years or so would hold - seeing people healed, demons cast out, the dead raised. It was new, and exciting, and the high was higher than any catch of fish from his BC life. It was an adventure.
The second "Follow me!" challenge comes three years later. It comes after the greatest disappointment, not with Jesus, but with himself. For all the miraculous signs that Peter had witnessed, what stood out in his mind was his betrayal. He had boldly proclaimed that even if the other disciples ran away, he would stay the course. He didn't. What Peter can offer Jesus now is not sacrificial love, but the love of a friend - a watered down version of what Jesus is asking for. Jesus accepts it, knowing that the friendship will deepen and the commitment will be to the death one day.
So when Jesus says, "Follow me!" it is like he is saying, "The first time I asked you to follow me, you didn't know what was going to happen. You thought you could climb mountains, and that you couldn't fail. Now you know just how weak you really are, but I still want you on my team. In fact I want you more than ever, because you know just how much you have to lean on me. I am entrusting my lambs, my precious ones, into your care."
We all have those first "Follow me!" challenges, and like Peter we end up face down in the mud, tripping up over our own pride and confidence. We feel that we have written ourselves out of Jesus' plans by our failure. But…there is another "Follow me!" challenge that Jesus gives us. For those of us who have been a Christian for a long time, we have a history of mistakes and misunderstandings and downright rebellions, and we have an experience of the hard times that sometimes takes the shine off our Christian life. Jesus repeats his challenge - "Follow me" - He still wants us on His team, more than ever, because we know how much we need to lean on Him.
The phrase "Feed my lambs" really struck a chord with me, and I took out my bible to read the account of Jesus' resurrection appearance to his disciples when they had gone fishing, caught nothing and followed his instructions to let the nets down on the other side of the boat. Later on in the passage Jesus and Peter have a conversation about love, and Jesus prophesies about Peter's death. Right at the end of all of that are the words, "Then he said to him (Peter), "Follow me!"" (John 21:19)
This was not the first time that Jesus had challenged Peter to follow him. Three years ago, in pretty much the same place, "As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him." (Mark 1:16-18)
Peter had no idea what he was letting himself in for. He had no idea what the next three years or so would hold - seeing people healed, demons cast out, the dead raised. It was new, and exciting, and the high was higher than any catch of fish from his BC life. It was an adventure.
The second "Follow me!" challenge comes three years later. It comes after the greatest disappointment, not with Jesus, but with himself. For all the miraculous signs that Peter had witnessed, what stood out in his mind was his betrayal. He had boldly proclaimed that even if the other disciples ran away, he would stay the course. He didn't. What Peter can offer Jesus now is not sacrificial love, but the love of a friend - a watered down version of what Jesus is asking for. Jesus accepts it, knowing that the friendship will deepen and the commitment will be to the death one day.
So when Jesus says, "Follow me!" it is like he is saying, "The first time I asked you to follow me, you didn't know what was going to happen. You thought you could climb mountains, and that you couldn't fail. Now you know just how weak you really are, but I still want you on my team. In fact I want you more than ever, because you know just how much you have to lean on me. I am entrusting my lambs, my precious ones, into your care."
We all have those first "Follow me!" challenges, and like Peter we end up face down in the mud, tripping up over our own pride and confidence. We feel that we have written ourselves out of Jesus' plans by our failure. But…there is another "Follow me!" challenge that Jesus gives us. For those of us who have been a Christian for a long time, we have a history of mistakes and misunderstandings and downright rebellions, and we have an experience of the hard times that sometimes takes the shine off our Christian life. Jesus repeats his challenge - "Follow me" - He still wants us on His team, more than ever, because we know how much we need to lean on Him.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Praying with the big boys
We have experienced a wonderful weekend. Friends and leaders from the Wrexham Church travelled up to have fellowship with us. We have strong links with the church there, and Tony Howson provides us with apostolic covering.
They were with us all day Sunday - for the morning meeting, the fellowship lunch and in the evening for a prayer meeting. The teaching in the morning meeting was really challenging, about Moses and the Israelites crossing the Red Sea. Doing things the way God wants, at just the right time is so much more effective than coming up with our own strategies. The fellowship lunch was also good - I played endless games of Connect 4 but only managed to connect once! I was too concerned plotting five moves ahead to notice my opponent just slotting them unchallenged and unhindered by me! There is a mind set that I don't possess!
It was the prayer meeting that really set me alight! I have always thought that corporate prayer meetings are important, but very often, although we are all in the same place, the way we pray tends to be very individual. The prayers are like self contained episodes in a TV series - you don't really need the episodes that come before and after to set the scene or work out what is going on. We are listening and agreeing to what has gone before, but last night they introduced an element of honing and refining and sharpening.
Imagine prayers as arrows. Sometimes what is let loose is a very blunt arrow and it doesn't really penetrate the target. It is a nice enough prayer but something is missing. It is not to do with the words, but to do with the Spirit or the heart or something. Or imagine the bow. If the bow is not strung tight enough, the arrow isn't given the surge of speed to perhaps even reach the target. Sometimes what is needed is someone to recognise the blunt arrow and sharpen it, or see the loosely strung bow and tighten it. You don't bring down strongholds with blunt arrows and loosely strung bows.
Last night was different. It wasn't just firing off as many arrows as we could muster in the time allotted. It was scary prayer - the kind that the devil really runs from!
We began by reminding ourselves that there was a difference between prayers of the flesh and prayers of the spirit. Only the prayers of the spirit bring life. One of the reasons that so many prayers go unanswered is because we are not praying the heart of God, but our own hearts, which sadly do not always beat together! Our pastor had a picture of an egg and the bird inside the egg breaking out. There is a right time for the chick to emerge. It has to reach the point where it is strong enough and developed enough to stand up to life on the outside of the egg. I am not sure where the egg metaphor was going. I don't always listen as well as I ought. What came to mind was the constriction of the egg - the space is just too small and the chick feels it is suffocating and is desperate to get out. Maybe as the shell gets thinner, there are aromas from the outside world that filter through that are too enticing! I just happened to mention about the discomfort the chick felt, and the desperate need to break out. I am sure that it’s a case of "If you stay in here, you are going to die!"
Well, the theme of breaking out prevailed. When it came to confessing areas where we needed to break out - someone else revealed what was on the tip of my tongue as regards how I have felt hemmed in and bound up. My workplace is challenging to say the least. It seems that with some classes they draw the lines through the things that they say and the way that they behave, that push me against walls and into corners where I act defensively. Suddenly I feel exposed and rush to protect myself any way possible. Earlier in the week God had been reminding me about putting on armour, and I had said to Him that I shouldn't have to, that it shouldn't be a battlefield - and that is how things have felt.
It was just like this man, Paul, had read my mind. There was an attempt to reason the whole thing out - if he knows that I am a teacher, he probably knows what kids are like these days…it's bound to be tough. But that really wasn't cutting it - I tried desperately to keep my thoughts under control. The thought of someone knowing what I was thinking was very unsettling.
I had a picture which I kept to myself of a tool box. The workman had particular tools for particular jobs. Each tool fits perfectly in his hand because it has been carefully chosen. When it comes to needing a certain tool, it might not have been used for a while and has got a little bit rusty, so he carefully cleans it and sharpens it ready for the job. It is not broken, but if it is, he fixes it. He doesn't just replace it, because this tool is irreplaceable. There is just not another one like it.
I am speaking faith to myself here in that God has got a specific job in mind. I am the tool that he wants to use to get the job done. He has rooted around the toolbox to get me, notices that I am a little stained around the handle and not as sharp as I could be, so he has sharpened me in readiness! That is how I feel - sharp and held perfectly in the hand of God ready for the task!
You know, in some ways I have been in this place before. It is not a spiritual high, where circumstances will be a pin prick and let all the air out so I get deflated. It is the place of revival. My appetite, my hunger, my feeding not just on the word of God but on vibrant fellowship with the Spirit is what will sustain it.
They were with us all day Sunday - for the morning meeting, the fellowship lunch and in the evening for a prayer meeting. The teaching in the morning meeting was really challenging, about Moses and the Israelites crossing the Red Sea. Doing things the way God wants, at just the right time is so much more effective than coming up with our own strategies. The fellowship lunch was also good - I played endless games of Connect 4 but only managed to connect once! I was too concerned plotting five moves ahead to notice my opponent just slotting them unchallenged and unhindered by me! There is a mind set that I don't possess!
It was the prayer meeting that really set me alight! I have always thought that corporate prayer meetings are important, but very often, although we are all in the same place, the way we pray tends to be very individual. The prayers are like self contained episodes in a TV series - you don't really need the episodes that come before and after to set the scene or work out what is going on. We are listening and agreeing to what has gone before, but last night they introduced an element of honing and refining and sharpening.
Imagine prayers as arrows. Sometimes what is let loose is a very blunt arrow and it doesn't really penetrate the target. It is a nice enough prayer but something is missing. It is not to do with the words, but to do with the Spirit or the heart or something. Or imagine the bow. If the bow is not strung tight enough, the arrow isn't given the surge of speed to perhaps even reach the target. Sometimes what is needed is someone to recognise the blunt arrow and sharpen it, or see the loosely strung bow and tighten it. You don't bring down strongholds with blunt arrows and loosely strung bows.
Last night was different. It wasn't just firing off as many arrows as we could muster in the time allotted. It was scary prayer - the kind that the devil really runs from!
We began by reminding ourselves that there was a difference between prayers of the flesh and prayers of the spirit. Only the prayers of the spirit bring life. One of the reasons that so many prayers go unanswered is because we are not praying the heart of God, but our own hearts, which sadly do not always beat together! Our pastor had a picture of an egg and the bird inside the egg breaking out. There is a right time for the chick to emerge. It has to reach the point where it is strong enough and developed enough to stand up to life on the outside of the egg. I am not sure where the egg metaphor was going. I don't always listen as well as I ought. What came to mind was the constriction of the egg - the space is just too small and the chick feels it is suffocating and is desperate to get out. Maybe as the shell gets thinner, there are aromas from the outside world that filter through that are too enticing! I just happened to mention about the discomfort the chick felt, and the desperate need to break out. I am sure that it’s a case of "If you stay in here, you are going to die!"
Well, the theme of breaking out prevailed. When it came to confessing areas where we needed to break out - someone else revealed what was on the tip of my tongue as regards how I have felt hemmed in and bound up. My workplace is challenging to say the least. It seems that with some classes they draw the lines through the things that they say and the way that they behave, that push me against walls and into corners where I act defensively. Suddenly I feel exposed and rush to protect myself any way possible. Earlier in the week God had been reminding me about putting on armour, and I had said to Him that I shouldn't have to, that it shouldn't be a battlefield - and that is how things have felt.
It was just like this man, Paul, had read my mind. There was an attempt to reason the whole thing out - if he knows that I am a teacher, he probably knows what kids are like these days…it's bound to be tough. But that really wasn't cutting it - I tried desperately to keep my thoughts under control. The thought of someone knowing what I was thinking was very unsettling.
I had a picture which I kept to myself of a tool box. The workman had particular tools for particular jobs. Each tool fits perfectly in his hand because it has been carefully chosen. When it comes to needing a certain tool, it might not have been used for a while and has got a little bit rusty, so he carefully cleans it and sharpens it ready for the job. It is not broken, but if it is, he fixes it. He doesn't just replace it, because this tool is irreplaceable. There is just not another one like it.
I am speaking faith to myself here in that God has got a specific job in mind. I am the tool that he wants to use to get the job done. He has rooted around the toolbox to get me, notices that I am a little stained around the handle and not as sharp as I could be, so he has sharpened me in readiness! That is how I feel - sharp and held perfectly in the hand of God ready for the task!
You know, in some ways I have been in this place before. It is not a spiritual high, where circumstances will be a pin prick and let all the air out so I get deflated. It is the place of revival. My appetite, my hunger, my feeding not just on the word of God but on vibrant fellowship with the Spirit is what will sustain it.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Waking thoughts
"Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light."
(Mary Elizabeth Byrne, 1905)
My first thought this morning was not a pleasant one. It was about how much I was not looking forward to the day in school. Perhaps it was not so much the thought as the sinking feeling I had in my stomach. It has been a long while since I have felt this way.
It was brought on by a combination of things. The percentage pass rate for our third year classes was set quite low in our departmental meeting, but even so, I think I may been struggling to make it. I was fretting. Last week I had a very difficult encounter with one particular third year group - things just got really blown out of proportion and it was making me anxious about our next encounter.
A friend at work asked me what I did about my sinking feeling and whether it was still with me. My comment was extremely trite and casual and not at all accurate. I said that I just "slapped myself around a bit and told myself to get on with it and stop grizzling." I missed a golden opportunity to witness. There was no slapping around. I just knelt before God and poured out my concerns.
I want my waking thought to be about the goodness of God. That doesn't happen by accident. I can't be thinking about the goodness of God if my mind rewinding and reviewing the bad encounters of the day. There is a need to settle things and close things down, to allow God to bring something to an end, where I can't seem to do it alone. Only when I am still can I hear God's voice. If I refuse to be still, then I miss out on his affirmation and encouragement.
After spending more time with God when I came home I began to write a poem;-
Too often I forget, Lord
That I belong to You
That in this cold and empty world
I'm merely passing through
Too often I forget, Lord
That You direct my way
The world with all its hollow words
Just shouldn't have a say
Too often I forget, Lord
To gaze upon Your face
To walk in Your anointing
To stand, clothed in Your grace.
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light."
(Mary Elizabeth Byrne, 1905)
My first thought this morning was not a pleasant one. It was about how much I was not looking forward to the day in school. Perhaps it was not so much the thought as the sinking feeling I had in my stomach. It has been a long while since I have felt this way.
It was brought on by a combination of things. The percentage pass rate for our third year classes was set quite low in our departmental meeting, but even so, I think I may been struggling to make it. I was fretting. Last week I had a very difficult encounter with one particular third year group - things just got really blown out of proportion and it was making me anxious about our next encounter.
A friend at work asked me what I did about my sinking feeling and whether it was still with me. My comment was extremely trite and casual and not at all accurate. I said that I just "slapped myself around a bit and told myself to get on with it and stop grizzling." I missed a golden opportunity to witness. There was no slapping around. I just knelt before God and poured out my concerns.
I want my waking thought to be about the goodness of God. That doesn't happen by accident. I can't be thinking about the goodness of God if my mind rewinding and reviewing the bad encounters of the day. There is a need to settle things and close things down, to allow God to bring something to an end, where I can't seem to do it alone. Only when I am still can I hear God's voice. If I refuse to be still, then I miss out on his affirmation and encouragement.
After spending more time with God when I came home I began to write a poem;-
Too often I forget, Lord
That I belong to You
That in this cold and empty world
I'm merely passing through
Too often I forget, Lord
That You direct my way
The world with all its hollow words
Just shouldn't have a say
Too often I forget, Lord
To gaze upon Your face
To walk in Your anointing
To stand, clothed in Your grace.
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