Thursday, April 30, 2015

Tweets

I woke up this morning at about half past two.  Waking up is not unusual for me.  Sleeping through the night is. It’s probably an age thing and a post-menopausal thing.  I probably need less hours sleep than I used to but still try to insist my body has its seven or eight hours.

It surprised me to hear a bird singing at that time in the morning.  The bird had no right to be singing at such an ungodly hour.  Dawn was three hours away.

The creative mind switched on as it does at times.  I admit I am not fluent in bird but a couple of bird conversations came to mind.  Maybe it wasn’t just the one bird:-

 Scenario 1

The scene takes place in a nest in tree beside bedroom window.  Robin flutters down to the nest quite unsteadily.

Jackie: (Jackie Bird, Scottish news presenter, get the connection?) And what time do you call this? It's half past two in the morning! I was worried sick. Anything could have happened to you! You should have tweeted!

Robin:  Not right now, love.  Can we save this for the morning?

Jackie:  And just where were you?  I have been sitting on these eggs all day.  Your shift began hours ago.  I’m starving and I need to go to the bathroom.  It’s not as if I could leave the eggs, could I? Blooming cuckoos have been seen in the area. 

Robin: The lads over at The Oak were talking about immigration.  They’re letting too many birds into this country.  There's aready enough competition for worms and insects. They better not be jumping the housing queue!

 
Scenario 2

The scene takes place in a nest in tree beside bedroom window.  Jackie is sitting on the eggs fast asleep.  Suddenly…

Jackie:  OO! OO! Robin! Quick – come here!

Robin: Huh?

Jackie: It’s the eggs!  I think they’re hatching!  I can feel them wobble!

Robin: The eggs hatching?  That doesn’t sound right!  It’s far too early for hatching.  I’ve not finished decorating the nursery yet.

Jackie: OOO!  OOO! Something is definitely moving under my bottom.

Robin: Shift over and let me have a look.

Jackie: Oh Robin.  What if they’re born premature?  They’ll never survive!

Robin: Move over, Jackie! Let me have a look!

Jackie moves.  Robin inspects the eggs. Only one, a large one, is wobbling.

Robin: It’s just the one egg – the big one.

Jackie: What big egg?  We don’t have a big egg!  They are all neat little things. 

The big egg splits and a cuckoo emerges.

Jackie: He’s a big fella! I think he takes after your Great Uncle Eric.

 

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