Last weekend there was an article in one of the papers
debunking the idea that scientists didn’t have a sense of humour. They included a whole column of jokes. As I read through them, the thought going
through my head was, “I don’t get it!” I chortled at one or two that I did get,
but many of them needed a little more scientific background than I possessed. Had I been at a scientist’s joke convention I
would have felt very much disconnected and unable to relate to anything.
There was a bit of that last night at the Woman Aglow
meeting. I think I didn’t glow! The people sat around my table, for the most
part, were Street Pastors. They talked a
little about the people on the streets that they had met and exchanged stories
about different people on drugs. They
discussed why someone who had been on drugs and then came off them would then
slip back into drug addiction. Once you
have discovered freedom, why do you then give it up?
I am aware that some of the young people that I deal with
dabble in soft drugs. They have smoked a
joint or two…or more in some cases. When
my brother was in a hospice in Spain his friends baked dubious ingredients into
cakes for him. Towards the later stages
of his life, the doctor didn’t exactly encourage these drugs but made it plain
that disguise was no longer needed. If
it helped ease my brother’s pain and discomfort then they were permitted.
For the most part I am ignorant of city’s drug
scene.
Later on in the meeting we listened to the testimony of a
woman who organises the Inverness arm of the Food Bank. Supporters were out in the supermarkets last
week handing out shopping lists and encouraging people to buy one or two items.
It was a very powerful and a very heart breaking testimony.
There were moments when her life paralleled mine, but then went off at very
different angles. She talked of a
poverty stricken background where she would have benefited from help from a
food bank. My mother held down a number
of part time jobs to bring in enough money to feed six children, my dad having
died from cancer. She could have drowned
herself in a bottle but she never did – not to my knowledge.
The speaker talked about her church experiences. We both have Spring Harvest in common and the
changes that it provoked in our lives as Christians. I went to Spring Harvest in 1982. My encounter with the Holy Spirit was
awesome. I knew the FEAR of the Lord –
not respect and reverence but FEAR. I
fled from God from that point. My faith
up until then had been safe and to some extent lived on my terms. Having a sense of the presence of God so
powerful that it pushed me trembling to my knees – I wasn’t sure I wanted
that. I may not have wanted God, but He
wanted me so he pursued me. He chased me
down!
Once caught, I realised that the church I was in at the
time was not leading me where God wanted me to go. She called her move a stepping stone – a necessary
place to go before god could take her where he wanted her to be. I had my own stepping stone church too.
The opportunity for her to work with the Food Bank
came. She didn’t think she had the
qualifications necessary to do the job – but who better qualified? Having been through the kind of life that she
had experienced, she knew the heartaches and the challenges of the people who
were coming to the Food Bank. She had
trod the same path and could say to them, “I get it!”
I went home thoughtful.
I sat in the car and thought about all the events in her life that had
led her to be exactly the person God needed for the job he had ear-marked for
her. I couldn’t help but think about my
own life. The word that comes to mind is
“charmed”, but it isn’t charmed at all.
I had the childhood I had, free from any kind of abuse, because of the
hard work of my mum. I had a certain
combination of genes from a clever father that meant I wouldn’t fail in school. I worked hard, sometimes, because I had
supportive teachers. I remember we were
hounded by social workers – we looked on paper the perfect cocktail of factors
for failure. Looking back I can see that
God put into place the right people at the right time to steer our family in a
right direction.
As I sat in the car it was as if God said, “You are of no
use to me unless you are flawed and broken in some way.”
Did I qualify as flawed and broken? I didn’t have an alcoholic mother. I wasn’t abused. I didn’t come across drug addicts in my daily
life. Was I any use at all to God?
It didn’t take long to trawl through my memories to find the
flawed and broken bits of it. I have my scars and my wounds which are not the
same as others. I can speak to people in
some areas of life that others can’t. To
those people I can say, “I get it!”
We are all flawed and broken. Some of us know it and have taken the bits of
our lives to God and put them into his hand to make something new out of them. Others haven’t worked it out yet. Some learn to live with the bits, or cover
them over with…with what? There are probably
more than a few covering over the brokenness of their lives with church
meetings and a Sunday morning ointment. There
are others that are just waiting for someone to tell them the Good News.
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