“When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God;” Psalm 73:16-17
Quite what it was yesterday that put me out of sorts wasn’t down to just one thing.
• A favourite skirt I planned to wear no longer fits comfortably! I used to have to put a safety pin in the waistband to keep it from falling down!
• I ran out of teabags! This might not seem like an issue. I need my daily dose of caffeine and I wasn’t getting it. Decaf teabags just don’t do the job required!
• The footpaths around the estate melting and freezing over successive days are fast becoming like ice rinks. My middle name is neither Torvill nor Dean.
• The bus driver didn’t hear the “ping” when I pushed the “stop” button. The next stop, in the city centre is a ten minute walk from work.
• The bus I had to catch to get to a Bible Study at a friend’s house after work was going to pass by my house. I wanted so much to stay on the bus and go home!
• At the Bible study a friend asked me how my poetry project was going. If poetry was like the digestion system of the human body – I am poetically constipated!
• My darling hubbie is away on a business trip and I am missing him. Coming home to an empty house is sad.
By the time I got home, I felt frazzled! I was surprised not to see myself coming apart at the seams. I wanted to cry, not for any specific reason but just because I felt out of sorts.
What I did do in the end was a pile of washing up in the kitchen. It always helps to bring order somewhere, in someplace where nothing fights me, or answers back with a smart comment.
Then I heard God tell me to come and sit with Him and tell him about my day! So I went into the sanctuary – the front room, legs up on the sofa, a cup of coffee on the table and a Bible on my knee.
I don’t think I really made any resolutions, but well into the first few days of January it did seem like I was establishing some very good habits. I was spending time in the word and my prayer life was improving. And then just three days back at work and everything was falling apart! What works in holiday time may not be so easy to maintain once you are back at work.
Just like the ice outside had melted somewhat, I felt the hard core of frustration begin to melt as I sat with God. There was a continual sense of a wave of wellbeing washing over me, as he reminded me that He loved me. Most times that is all I need to know.