I made a small step yesterday to be fearless. I have a lot of concerns about things but I don’t always say anything. I play the ostrich – stick my head in the sand and hope it all goes away. Part of the trouble is that I fool myself into thinking that certain people are more spiritual than I am. I think they have a better handle on something, or a clearer vision than I have. So I keep quiet.
I am sure there are times when it is a good idea to keep quiet – but I have learned from experience that sometimes my thoughts just simmer and boil and I get spiritual indigestion. It gets to a point when it spills out and not always in the healthiest manner!
Sometimes the worship group begins with the opening phrase “What do you want to do…?” There are times when I have something I want to do. I have spent time preparing myself and have got something burning on my heart. I don’t always have the courage to speak out and we end up doing something that although it might be good to do, it wasn’t what God had planned, because the person God shared the plan with kept quiet! I have often gone back to my car kicking myself for not speaking up!
Yesterday I had my answer to “What do you want to do…? I wanted to talk about things that I thought were going well, or not going so well. I wanted to talk about how some of the changes we had put in place had affected me. I admitted to some of the things I struggled with. It wasn’t a list of complaints. I also had a few answers up my sleeve to some of the problems I was experiencing.
Suddenly we were all talking. We were suggesting ways that we could make more effective use of the time we have available.
What I loved about the meeting was the absence of finger pointing. Worship isn’t about playing the notes of a song in the right order, with the right rhythm, so singing pitch perfect. It is about serving God and serving one another.
I felt very encouraged that we not only listened, but we sought out solutions. There was an attitude of surrender. Sometimes we hold very strong opinions about things and we want to insist on our way of doing something. We fight tooth and nail to hold the ground we stand on. I have been in meetings like that, and been thoroughly mauled! Last night was not one of those nights.
I left feeling very built up and encouraged!
Thanks Mark, Sue and Kyle!