Monday, August 29, 2005

Let's blame the chillies!

I have got, and have had for 48 hours now, a really sore stomach. If I was pregnant, which I can assure you I am not, I might be thinking in terms of baby on its way. I am working my way through a box of Alka Seltzer tablets I bought this morning and have had some respite, but the symptoms persist.

I had been thinking it was the chillies I ate on Saturday night. I have long suspected that I may be developing curious allergies to things, but decided that I am not giving up the things I like. I can put up with a few hours of discomfort - a plate of chilli con carne is worth it! Not 48 hours of it though.

I am beginning to think that the culprit may be something else. This is the chilli defence layer talking:-

"So let's blame the chillies, shall we? It couldn't possibly be the unhygienic state of your kitchen. No, it is not the unwashed pan from a week ago, is it? It is not the grimy scourer you insist of using! Have you actually used any of those anti-bacterial wipes on the surfaces or is that tea stain part of the pattern? Or the fridge - is it possible that something deadly lurks in the re-used margarine tub? It couldn't possibly be those yoghurts that are well out of date. What about the decomposing veggies in the box? It couldn't possible be them! The pedal bin lid - when did that last see a dash of disinfectant? And let's not talk about the floor, shall we? Your kitchen is a dose of Legionnaires Disease just waiting to happen!

No, let's blame the chillies shall we?"

My home economics teacher, who may well be dead, may well be turning in her grave. My sore belly compelled me to get cleaning! Just the kitchen floor and the fridge to go.


Bonnie Calhoun said...

Could be that you've developed dyverticulitus (try saying that 3 times fast. Chilis and the beans in the con carne would definitely give that affliction a fit!

Shelley said...

If you are experiencing pain just below your rib cage (the part where they two sides join together), maybe it is a gall bladder attack...whatever it is, I hope it goes away quickly for you!

meljkerr said...

I have abandoned blaming the chillies. I had a really bad night last night. I was weeping down the phone to the doctor this morning and have an appointment later on today. Meanwhile my last dose of painkillers has just worn off and I don't feel so good.